Out of my way

Recently I was talking with a really good friend of mine and she asked me what I want out of life. The most precise answer I could give her at the time was 'Happiness'. I want happiness, not all the time but I want to know that it's there. This is the answer I've been giving peopple for the last 15 years.

Webster defines Happiness as such:
One entry found for happiness.
Main Entry: hap·pi·ness
Pronunciation: 'ha-pi-n&s
Function: noun
1 obsolete : good fortune : PROSPERITY
2 a : a state of well-being and contentment : JOY b : a pleasurable or satisfying experience
3 : FELICITY, APTNESS

But this was not good enough for her. She wanted to get to the meat of the issue, and we continued to talk. Finally we surmised that the first step tward my laghty goal would be to obtain a wife or a partner. Maybe by finding someone that compells me to strive for greater things then I will find happiness.

Websters defines wife as such:
Main Entry: wife
Pronunciation: 'wIf
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural wives /'wIvz/
Etymology: Middle English wif, from Old English wIf; akin to Old High German wIb wife
1 a dialect : WOMAN b : a woman acting in a specified capacity -- used in combination
2 : a female partner in a marriage

and Partner as:
Main Entry: 1part·ner
Pronunciation: 'pärt-n&r also 'pärd-
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English partener, alteration of parcener, from Anglo-French, coparcener -- more at PARCENER
1 archaic : one that shares : PARTAKER
2 a : one associated with another especially in an action : ASSOCIATE, COLLEAGUE b : either of two persons who dance together c : one of two or more persons who play together in a game against an opposing side d : either of two people living together; especially : SPOUSE
3 : a member of a partnership; also : such membership
4 : one of the heavy timbers that strengthen a ship's deck to support a mast -- usually used in plural

So, now I sit alone, elbow to elbow with strangers all around questioning myself. I am on the cusp of my thirtyeth year and I hesitate to make a single descision without the consultation of everyone even remotely involved. My whole life I've been living for the consideration of others, rarely doing things strictly for my own desires.